Law firm bathroom tips

This might just be me, but of the 7 or 8 law firms that I have worked at over my years as a lawyer, not one of them had what I would call a respectable level of bathroom cleanliness.

Maybe it is the stress of being lawyers that contributes to this. Maybe it is that all the reading and book learning, which means that lawyers have bad eyesight or reduced targeting skills.

Regardless of the reasons, it is something that has been perhaps the most consistent issue across all the firms I have worked at. Seriously, is it that hard to keep the bathrooms in a neat and tidy condition? Apparently it is. Have some respect people.

Therefore, I would like to take this Friday afternoon to share some techniques I have implemented to minimise the disgust and unpleasantness of the above issue.

Firstly, learn the cleaning schedules for your favourite bathroom. Many bathrooms in buildings will have a cleaning roster somewhere on the door or wall, where each cleaner marks that they have cleaned the bathrooms and the time at which they did it. Check this out, and work out the average time of day when the bathrooms are cleaned. Then, if you can, get in there 5 minutes after the cleaners have finished, as trust me, that room won’t be any cleaner at any other time of the day.

Secondly, and this is a bit more of a risky manoeuvre, but if you have a preferred stall (I know you all do), then put the seat for the toilet in that stall down at the start of the day, or just after the cleaners have left. Whenever it is cleanest. I know gentlemen, crazy talk! Stick with me on this one.

Most people, when faced with a known known (that is, a toilet with an open seat where there are no hidden surprises) will take that known option rather than risk a nasty surprise by lifting a toilet seat and seeing something in there smiling back at them. So if you close the lid, you’re utilising people’s natural fear of the unknown and hence will minimise the number of people that will use that toilet throughout the course of the day. Less users means (hopefully) a cleaner standard on average for your favourite thinking spot.

Of course, there is always the potential that you yourself will suffer a shock of exposing something that should remain hidden when you lift the seat, but I feel this is the exception to the rule and worth the risk.

Finally, and this is a mean trick and I would never personally implement it, but if you do have a favourite toilet and want to keep it all to yourself, print an ‘Out of Order’ sign out and stick it on the stall door or above the toilet bowl when it is clean. No-one wants to use a broken toilet so it will be yours for the whole day!

Just don’t use the disabled bathroom if you’re not disabled. There is no excuse for that. Ever.

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